Juligaletti
Joined: 06 Mar 2013
Posts: 1
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 Posted: Wed Mar 06, 2013 1:49 pm Post subject: Sexually unsatisfied, damaging our relationship |
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My girlfriend and I recently got engaged, we've been together for 6 years. Neither of us had been sexually active before we started dating. I feel a bit uncomfortable about our sex life: since we first had sex every new thing (positions, oral etc.) that we tried was my idea - please don't misinterpret this as me forcing anything on her, it has never been at all like that. I have spent heaps of time learning about what she likes and what she might like and have had great success.
The reason that I feel uncomfortable is that if I hadn't suggested these things, would anything except missionary position sex ever happened? I feel like my needs are greater than hers, she enjoys everything that we do and I feel like I know her body so well, it is so easy for me to get her turned on and to make her orgasm. But I don't feel like this is reciprocated, she has no idea about how to pleasure me, always waits for me to initiate everything (and gets upset when I don't instead of trying to get things started herself). I also want to try anal but she refuses - I understand that she is a bit afraid of it as i'm pretty well endowed but at the same time if she won't do it with me then its never going to happen.
I have tried to talk to her about this so many times before, it is painful to go through because she gets upset, cries and says she will try harder and then I feel like I must be some kind of insensitive pervert and just suppress my sexual dissatisfaction and hope that things will improve.
5 years later and no great improvements. I don't know how to make any progress, I've tried talking about what I like so she can do better but I can't teach her how to (censored) a man. It makes me feel bad about myself that she is not willing to go to any real lengths to make things better after have spent so much time doing the same for her - why is it that I am not worth the effort? It's making me have second thoughts about getting married because I don't really like the idea of being sexually unsatisfied for the rest of my life and that maybe she doesn't really love me because if she did surely that would motivate her to want to make me happy. The more I tell her about what I want the less pleasure I get from what she does as I don't think sex should be about taking instructions.
Apart from the sex our relationship is great. Relationships are about sacrifice but I feel like it is only me who is making the sacrifices. If anyone has any advice or has had any similar experiences I'd really appreciate it, thanks for reading.
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